These pictures are just the cutest thing! Who ever knew that animals, especially wild animals, had the ability to care for each other in this way?
http://sajha.com/sajha/html/openThread.cfm?forum=2&threadid=63129
http://geniusbeauty.com/cute/baby-elephant-adopted-sheep/
This is what I LOVE about animals. They are THE example of what unconditional love is all about. They are the exact definition. We humans sure could learn a lot from them.
Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to.
~Alfred A. Montapert
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
~Anatole France
It is much easier to show compassion to animals. They are never wicked.
~Haile Selassie
If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men.
~St. Francis of Assisi
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
What is a Birthmom?
As I was attempting to get off to sleep last night, I found myself thinking about a friend of mine. (We'll call her Dee.) Dee is fellow "birthmom" with whom I routinely chat with online. She is not as far down the road as I am in the journey of adoption. Talking with her has been a God send since I don't have anyone in my life to share this aspect of my life with. She listens (non-judgmentally I might add), to my rantings & nonsensical ramblings about anything & everything. I love her dearly for that since everyone else I have attempted to talk with about my open adoption with seems to have one a opinion or another. Neither very helpful at all.
Recently Dee has encountered some difficulty in dealing with her adoptive family. I have listened to her discuss in great detail what it is that is the problem. In doing so, it has brought up a lot of "issues" for me in my life in regards to my open adoption. (It is amazing how much one forgets over time.) Listening to her made me realize how far I have truly come as well as how much more I must go through. I am however, frustrated as I don't know what to say that can help Dee get through this difficult time. So I don't say anything. I merely listen. There is still that part of me that longs to give her the words in which she will find peace. Because I know that's what I wanted when I was where she is now. Some comfort to get me through even though each day is like a prison sentence. I know she doesn't want to hear the usual: "You did such a beautiful thing, you are an angel, you made a family whole, you did the right thing." Blah blah blah. It truly is tiring to hear those words over & over again. When you are hurting, it's down right insulting. It doesn't give you comfort, it doesn't even seem like those words are real. It's what people say because that's what they THINK they are suppose to say or it's all they know to say. When a birth mother is going through a difficult time, she needs to feel important, respected, wanted, needed, LOVED unconditionally. I think there in lies the problem. We need a lot.
I do believe a majority of adoptive parents aren't expecting the "baggage' that comes with a birthmom. They figure that they can drop the birthmom if & when the "going gets tough". I disagree. To love that child, means to love and respect the woman who brought him to you, no matter how difficult things get. To love that child, is to love the birthmom as if she were a part of your family.(ie like an aunt or cousin) To love the birthmom, is to love your child because she is part of him & he a part of her. I know how that may sound so let me go into detail a little bit further.
Personally, I feel that if you are willing to love someones else's child, give him a name, & raise him as your own, then you have a responsibility to that child as well, to allow him to know anything & everything he wants, or needs about where he came from. Regardless of how you may personally feel about the birthmother as a person, she is who gave him those loving eyes he looks at you with when he is in pain. She's the one who gave him the laugh that fills your heart with joy when you hear it. I'm not saying I DESERVE or am ENTITLED to anything. I am simply saying if you love that child as much as we know you do, the best way for you to show your child you love them, is to love his birthmother too. Not parent or co-parent, but honest to goodness love & respect. I am terrible at words and the more I type the more jumbled this is turning out. I wish I were Vulcan and could do a mind meld so that I could get out what I can't seem to get out. So here's a poem & lyrics to a song that explains exactly what I'm feebly attempting to say:
One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
From God's Arms, To my arms, To your arms~
by Michael Mclean
So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I've been thinking,
Cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I
Should give this child to you.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before, By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
If you choose to tell him,
If he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
Could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights,
I prayed and paced the floors,
And knew the only peace I'd find,
Was if this child was yours.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
This may not be the answer,
For another girl like me.
But I'm not on a soapbox,
Saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings,
And I'm trusting God above,
And I'm trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers' love.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
You can read, go to classes & pre-placement counseling all you want, but the fact remains that emotions & hormones are unpredictable no matter how much you try to make them not be. Even as a birthmother, I wasn't expecting what I went through. Things change, people change, feelings change.
I see so much of who I use to be in my friend Dee. Strong, courageous, ready to conquer the world and educate everyone about open adoption if given the chance. Looking back, I was very naive in a great many aspects. I felt it was my job to tell everyone "how it is" no questions asked. If they happened to not like what I had to say then oh well, there loss not mine. I KNOW I was right, & they were wrong. I couldn't understand why all the negativity at the mere mention of the word adoption. It wasn't until I had gone through some tough times myself, that I understood why the taboo is still there.
As I lay in bed occasionally glancing at the clock to see how much sleep I was exactly missing by mulling this around in my head, I had a thought:
"What IS a Birthmother? And what makes us to "threatening"? The second part is so obvious, but the first became something that took on a life of it's own. Being the analytical person that I am, I got up, grabbed my computer, and "Googled" it. As expected, the results I got back included the "definition" of what a birthmother is according to "wickipedia". As I scrolled past 2 other entries I found the following link:
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/Why_Birthmother_Means_Breeder.html
Initially, I was shocked and offended but after reading the first 2 lines I couldn't resist finishing the rest. The first paragraph describes what I have struggled with other the last 10 years. The term "birth" is so offensive I can't even begin to describe. Yet, from an adoptive mother's perspective, I could also see how that might be insulting to them as they would dearly LOVE to claim that title for themselves. It was just good to see in writing, that someone else felt the same way I did; that I'm not the only who felt the way I did about the term "birthmother". It is apparent that the author has some issues of her own that I COULDN'T relate to. After searching further, found this:
http://www.openadoptioninsight.org/birth_mother.htm
I was quite surprised to find this. I had heard that many adoption agencies do something similar to this but didn't know all the details. I don't know how I really feel about this. Again, I related to some, but not all of what what written here. So I continued my search and found this:
http://lifemothers.com/lifemother.html
I couldn't help but fee like FINALLY, someone who gets me! Someone who said what I have been afraid to say for fear of hurting someone else's feelings. I'm not alone. It's okay for me to feel this way. Out of all my online searching, I feel like this article most closely matches how I feel about being a "birthmother". The only thing I don't agree with is the need to be called anything at all.
I don't need a title such as birthmom, biological mom, natural mom, life mom..I just want to be known as me, "E". Not a woman who made a difficult decision to place my first child for adoption & has to be defined by that for the rest of my life. I am me first & foremost. I am a woman who is a wife & mother. I live my life the best I can. I have made mistakes & will continue to do so for as long as I am alive. I choose to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I am a loving & caring person almost to a fault.
As I sit here typing I realize that the answer to my question isn't something one can find through any "search" query. The answer is inside each & every "birthmom" individually. We are own person. We are who we choose to be. Whether our adoptive families or even those who haven't been through adoption, choose to see us that way, is their choice. All we really can be is our selves, faults included.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night & day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle in which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~E.E. Cummings
Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible-- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family. ~Virgina Satir
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Recently Dee has encountered some difficulty in dealing with her adoptive family. I have listened to her discuss in great detail what it is that is the problem. In doing so, it has brought up a lot of "issues" for me in my life in regards to my open adoption. (It is amazing how much one forgets over time.) Listening to her made me realize how far I have truly come as well as how much more I must go through. I am however, frustrated as I don't know what to say that can help Dee get through this difficult time. So I don't say anything. I merely listen. There is still that part of me that longs to give her the words in which she will find peace. Because I know that's what I wanted when I was where she is now. Some comfort to get me through even though each day is like a prison sentence. I know she doesn't want to hear the usual: "You did such a beautiful thing, you are an angel, you made a family whole, you did the right thing." Blah blah blah. It truly is tiring to hear those words over & over again. When you are hurting, it's down right insulting. It doesn't give you comfort, it doesn't even seem like those words are real. It's what people say because that's what they THINK they are suppose to say or it's all they know to say. When a birth mother is going through a difficult time, she needs to feel important, respected, wanted, needed, LOVED unconditionally. I think there in lies the problem. We need a lot.
I do believe a majority of adoptive parents aren't expecting the "baggage' that comes with a birthmom. They figure that they can drop the birthmom if & when the "going gets tough". I disagree. To love that child, means to love and respect the woman who brought him to you, no matter how difficult things get. To love that child, is to love the birthmom as if she were a part of your family.(ie like an aunt or cousin) To love the birthmom, is to love your child because she is part of him & he a part of her. I know how that may sound so let me go into detail a little bit further.
Personally, I feel that if you are willing to love someones else's child, give him a name, & raise him as your own, then you have a responsibility to that child as well, to allow him to know anything & everything he wants, or needs about where he came from. Regardless of how you may personally feel about the birthmother as a person, she is who gave him those loving eyes he looks at you with when he is in pain. She's the one who gave him the laugh that fills your heart with joy when you hear it. I'm not saying I DESERVE or am ENTITLED to anything. I am simply saying if you love that child as much as we know you do, the best way for you to show your child you love them, is to love his birthmother too. Not parent or co-parent, but honest to goodness love & respect. I am terrible at words and the more I type the more jumbled this is turning out. I wish I were Vulcan and could do a mind meld so that I could get out what I can't seem to get out. So here's a poem & lyrics to a song that explains exactly what I'm feebly attempting to say:
~An Adoption Poem~
Once there were two women who never knew each otherOne you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one
One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it
The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name
One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears
One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do
The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.
Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?
Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.
From God's Arms, To my arms, To your arms~
by Michael Mclean
So many wrong decisions in my past, I'm not quite sure
If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.
But lately I've been thinking,
Cause it's all I've had to do.
And in my heart I feel that I
Should give this child to you.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before, By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
If you choose to tell him,
If he wants to know,
How the one who gave him life
Could bear to let him go.
Just tell him there were sleepless nights,
I prayed and paced the floors,
And knew the only peace I'd find,
Was if this child was yours.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
This may not be the answer,
For another girl like me.
But I'm not on a soapbox,
Saying how we all should be.
I'm just trusting in my feelings,
And I'm trusting God above,
And I'm trusting you can give this baby
Both his mothers' love.
And maybe, you could tell your baby,
When you love him so, that he's been loved before,
By someone, who delivered your son,
From God's arms, to my arms, to yours.
You can read, go to classes & pre-placement counseling all you want, but the fact remains that emotions & hormones are unpredictable no matter how much you try to make them not be. Even as a birthmother, I wasn't expecting what I went through. Things change, people change, feelings change.
I see so much of who I use to be in my friend Dee. Strong, courageous, ready to conquer the world and educate everyone about open adoption if given the chance. Looking back, I was very naive in a great many aspects. I felt it was my job to tell everyone "how it is" no questions asked. If they happened to not like what I had to say then oh well, there loss not mine. I KNOW I was right, & they were wrong. I couldn't understand why all the negativity at the mere mention of the word adoption. It wasn't until I had gone through some tough times myself, that I understood why the taboo is still there.
As I lay in bed occasionally glancing at the clock to see how much sleep I was exactly missing by mulling this around in my head, I had a thought:
"What IS a Birthmother? And what makes us to "threatening"? The second part is so obvious, but the first became something that took on a life of it's own. Being the analytical person that I am, I got up, grabbed my computer, and "Googled" it. As expected, the results I got back included the "definition" of what a birthmother is according to "wickipedia". As I scrolled past 2 other entries I found the following link:
http://www.exiledmothers.com/adoption_facts/Why_Birthmother_Means_Breeder.html
Initially, I was shocked and offended but after reading the first 2 lines I couldn't resist finishing the rest. The first paragraph describes what I have struggled with other the last 10 years. The term "birth" is so offensive I can't even begin to describe. Yet, from an adoptive mother's perspective, I could also see how that might be insulting to them as they would dearly LOVE to claim that title for themselves. It was just good to see in writing, that someone else felt the same way I did; that I'm not the only who felt the way I did about the term "birthmother". It is apparent that the author has some issues of her own that I COULDN'T relate to. After searching further, found this:
http://www.openadoptioninsight.org/birth_mother.htm
I was quite surprised to find this. I had heard that many adoption agencies do something similar to this but didn't know all the details. I don't know how I really feel about this. Again, I related to some, but not all of what what written here. So I continued my search and found this:
http://lifemothers.com/lifemother.html
I couldn't help but fee like FINALLY, someone who gets me! Someone who said what I have been afraid to say for fear of hurting someone else's feelings. I'm not alone. It's okay for me to feel this way. Out of all my online searching, I feel like this article most closely matches how I feel about being a "birthmother". The only thing I don't agree with is the need to be called anything at all.
I don't need a title such as birthmom, biological mom, natural mom, life mom..I just want to be known as me, "E". Not a woman who made a difficult decision to place my first child for adoption & has to be defined by that for the rest of my life. I am me first & foremost. I am a woman who is a wife & mother. I live my life the best I can. I have made mistakes & will continue to do so for as long as I am alive. I choose to learn from my mistakes and not repeat them. I am a loving & caring person almost to a fault.
As I sit here typing I realize that the answer to my question isn't something one can find through any "search" query. The answer is inside each & every "birthmom" individually. We are own person. We are who we choose to be. Whether our adoptive families or even those who haven't been through adoption, choose to see us that way, is their choice. All we really can be is our selves, faults included.
To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night & day, to make you everybody else, means to fight the hardest battle in which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~E.E. Cummings
Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible-- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family. ~Virgina Satir
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Sunday, January 18, 2009
Cool blog I thought I'd share..
I found this blog: http://ifoundyourcamera.blogspot.com/
as well as this page:
http://desicolours.com/love-makes-life-beautiful/08/01/2009
(how anyone can't like animals after seeing that is beyond me. These pictures are just so adorable!)
after using a website called stumbleupon.com It's an "add on" application that you can simply "add on" to your web browser. I currently use Firefox and I LOVE this application. I have found a great many resources through this website. Needless to say I highly recommend it.
as well as this page:
http://desicolours.com/love-makes-life-beautiful/08/01/2009
(how anyone can't like animals after seeing that is beyond me. These pictures are just so adorable!)
after using a website called stumbleupon.com It's an "add on" application that you can simply "add on" to your web browser. I currently use Firefox and I LOVE this application. I have found a great many resources through this website. Needless to say I highly recommend it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Random item #1
Recently I was tooling around Facebook, wasting time as my husband likes to call it and I came across this "bumper sticker" that really "hit home" with me. This really sums up how I feel about a lot of folks in my life, including my own family. At the beginning of the year I decided I was going to make this year about me. I promised myself that I was going to quit trying to please everybody else under the sun and make my needs, & my wants come first. Yet here I am not even a full 3 weeks into the new year & I'm having a hard time doing that. I'll give you an example:
I have a neighbor who has a son, "Bailey" close in age to my son. We'll call her "Helen".
Helen is a very nice person, boring as she may be. Over the years, I have always tried to be polite & make conversation with her. We're not close by any means, but we chit chat occasionally. Our conversations are always limited to our children & a handful of piddly topics. It was through one of these pointless conversations that Helen revealed to me she had gotten a new job & was having a difficult time finding "reliable" childcare for those times in between her going to work & her husband coming home. I told Helen that when I was working, I too had encountered this predicament. I was sympathetic to her situation. I then told her that if she ever needed me to let me know. Her son Bailey at that time was a good kid and easy to care for. I went along thinking nothing of the conversation. Over the last year, I have been increasingly called upon to watch Bailey. I do so when I can or want and leave it at that. However, I do feel guilty when I do on occasion say no. Partly because I vividly remember how much of a hassle it was to get a babysitter.
Fast forward to present day..
Helen recently got promoted to a management position as her husband was simultaneously layed off. When I babysit for Helen, it's usually only for an hour or two so I don't mind. It actually gives me a break from playing "smash 'em up trucks" with my son. Regardless, I haven't seen or spoken to Helen or her husband lately due to the hustle & bustle of the holidays. Her son's birthday just so happened to coincide with my nephews birthday, as well as an attempt to get a holiday portrait done for my in-laws. But I took the time to get a present for little Bailey and sent it with my husband and son as I got ready for my husband's Christmas party as well. Was that rude? Probably, but at that time of year, they're lucky to even get that considering these people aren't family. I realize I'm rambling a bit her..ok.. back to my point.
It's been weeks since I've spoken to Helen. Low & behold I get a phone call from her. I chose not to answer it as I was rushing out the door to cram as much as I possible could into yet another action packed Saturday afternoon. Part of me was curious as to what she could possibly want. As I got in the car, I lackadaisically check my voice mail; mentally preparing myself what I knew would be waiting for me.
Sure enough, my babysitting services are needed once again. What bothered me the most though, was the fake, insincere manner in which the voice mail began. There was a pathetic attempt of smoothing things over by saying how much our toy for her son's birthday was so appreciated. Really? So why not take the time and pick up the phone & let me know this BEFORE you need my services once again? You can't lump the both of them into the same conversation and expect it to be believable. It's pretty obvious to me that this is all a lame attempt to build me up, before you ask me to babysit, in hopes that I won't say no. Then to add insult to injury, she ends by saying "We should really get together soon & have a night where we play board games or something." Please, I may have been born at night, but I wasn't born last night!
I guess what bothers me is this: I would never do that to someone else, so what makes her think it's OK to do that to me? There is nothing in my nature that says, "Hey I don't care about myself or my feelings, so you shouldn't either! Here, be my guest, walk all over me, really I don't mind!" Granted, I am home pretty much all day everyday with my son & we don't go anywhere because my husband drives our only car to work everyday. I can see how that could be misconstrued to be that I don't have much of a life. Still, I chose to be a stay at home mom full time because in our family, the benefits outweighed the need for me to be working full time. So I "sat on it" for a few says trying to think up a way to be firm, direct, yet polite in telling Helen no. Helen it appears was more desperate than I had anticipated. I received another phone call following morning, (it was what I awoke to actually) from Helen. I didn't even bother to listen to the voice mail for fear the desperation in her voice would make me cave as soon as I heard it. I rolled out of bed, took as shower & planned on return her call as soon as I got ready for the day.
Somewhere between the morning paper, my breakfast and a quick game of fishing on the Wii I forgot to call Helen back. Oddly enough I did however,remember to call my mother, whom I forgot to call back from the night before. Initially what started out to be a five minute conversation ended up being one of those "What's the world coming to?" conversations that lasts on average, about an hour minimum. In the midst of this I get a text message from, (who else?)Helen. I'm not all that savvy at the multi-functions of my cell phone & even if I were, I wasn't about to hang up with mom to appease someone who has made me feel like an option, time & time again. Feeling guilty and ready to make up an excuse, I relented and called Helen back. Only this time, I didn't lie or make up some phony excuse so as not to hurt her feelings. I was honest and told Helen how I felt....well mostly..
Simply put, I told Helen that it may have appeared that I was avoiding her, but I honestly wasn't.(Do half truth's count as lies or just half lies?) I had intended on calling her earlier but got side tracked with things around the house (half truth #2) & I had just gotten off the phone with my mom trying to see if she was planning on coming over on Monday.(mostly true, we just hadn't nailed down when exactly) Then I did something that I have never done.
I gave Helen a slight glimpse the "inner me". I told her I was going through a "phase"; that I had been in some kind of funk lately and I was taking some time for myself. (No lie there at all for once)I know how odd that may sound since I'm home all day, 5 days a week, but it was exactly how I felt. It WAS the truth. Surprisingly, Helen understood and was calling to let me know that she had arraigned for someone else to take care of Bailey. "What a relief!", I thought. Just when I thought the conversation was at a point where I could hang up, Helen decides to get "personal" with me. NOW? Of all times NOW? By this time I am in the car riding down the road to get my "to do list" done, wondering, "How do I end this conversation without being rude?" Thankfully Helen mad the comment of "Well I better let you go as I see you guys have already left." DUH! Feeling empowered, I went to bed Sunday night with a sense of relief. That however, was short lived...
I am just about to hit the sheets,last night when, I get a text message at 7 minutes till 11:00. Guess who? Yep, once AGAIN, Helen is in a pinch and needs a sitter ASAP. Only this time she's really pulling out all the stops. She needs me to watch Bailey from 8:45-4:00 on Saturday & she's willing to actually pay me $30 which she can pay me next Wednesday. I really could care less about the money. I never babysat for Helen looking to make a quick buck. What bothers me AGAIN is:
a. It's last minute. You mean to tell me she doesn't get her work schedule a week in advance like most people do? Add the fact that she's asking me through a text message, and it's utterly ridiculous.
b. Why is she dangling money in my face? It's an absolute insult to me. It's as if all the times I babysat before were expected somehow and meaningless.
c. I just can't believe that someone would actually have the audacity to ask me to watch their child, knowing that the weekends are the only time I have to spend with my whole family & get my errands done.
I don't know why this bothers me so much since I am usually so quick to voice my displeasure in any situation. I don't usually put this much thought into things. I'm quick to just "call it like I see it." I think it all goes back to the beginning of this jumbled mess of a blog: I'm tired of making other people a priority when all I am to them is an option.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Here goes nothing..
So I have been debating over many months, whether or not to start a "blog"(I still can't get use to that word.)since I have found most blogs rather pretentious at times. I tend to over think things way too much so I decided to heed Nike's slogan & "Just do it".
Here's a little background on me and who I am: (Hope this doesn't come across conceited.)
~I am a married stay at home mom of a 4 year old son, & presently live in Colorado.
~I moved to Colorado after giving birth to my oldest son & placing him for open adoption. He also lives in Colorado and will be turning 10 years old soon.
~I grew up in Nebraska for about 13 years before moving to Colorado.
~To date, I have lived in 5 states: California, Mississippi, Virginia, Nebraska and Colorado.
~I was a "Navy brat" growing up, hence the constant shuffle from state to state.
~I grew up "in the church"; I attended non-denominational churches for the most part. While in Mississippi, our family attended Baptist as well as Nazarene affiliated churches. I consider myself a "non- practicing Christian". (I'll save that topic for another blog.)
~I have a sister who is 5 years younger than me. We are not close by an means. She also resides in Colorado.
~My sister & I were both born in San Diego.
So as you can see I'm pretty plain Jane. Nothing over the top exciting about myself or my life.
I keep asking myself what I want to use this blog for. Why am I doing this? I keep coming back to the same thing: I have a bad memory and don't seem to do well when it comes to keeping a journal. (I can't even begin to count how may years in a row I made that a New Year's resolution) Ok so that's a cop out. I am going to try and use this as a tool to help me stay focused on what is really important in life. I tend to get wrapped up in petty things and focus too much on the messenger and not the message. (I am constantly searching for lost items in my house as well, so a blog appealed to me more for so many obvious reasons.) I tend to be a perfectionist & a control freak too. So what better way to feed my vices than this?
Well I think this is a pretty good start. For the most part, I plan on writing about whatever randomness pops into my head. Specifically though, I would have to say my experience with open adoption will be my main shpeel. (Talk about your funny/odd words.) Ultimately, I really am hoping that I can give someone else some insight as far as what open adoption entails; the details that no one educated ME about.
Here's a little background on me and who I am: (Hope this doesn't come across conceited.)
~I am a married stay at home mom of a 4 year old son, & presently live in Colorado.
~I moved to Colorado after giving birth to my oldest son & placing him for open adoption. He also lives in Colorado and will be turning 10 years old soon.
~I grew up in Nebraska for about 13 years before moving to Colorado.
~To date, I have lived in 5 states: California, Mississippi, Virginia, Nebraska and Colorado.
~I was a "Navy brat" growing up, hence the constant shuffle from state to state.
~I grew up "in the church"; I attended non-denominational churches for the most part. While in Mississippi, our family attended Baptist as well as Nazarene affiliated churches. I consider myself a "non- practicing Christian". (I'll save that topic for another blog.)
~I have a sister who is 5 years younger than me. We are not close by an means. She also resides in Colorado.
~My sister & I were both born in San Diego.
So as you can see I'm pretty plain Jane. Nothing over the top exciting about myself or my life.
I keep asking myself what I want to use this blog for. Why am I doing this? I keep coming back to the same thing: I have a bad memory and don't seem to do well when it comes to keeping a journal. (I can't even begin to count how may years in a row I made that a New Year's resolution) Ok so that's a cop out. I am going to try and use this as a tool to help me stay focused on what is really important in life. I tend to get wrapped up in petty things and focus too much on the messenger and not the message. (I am constantly searching for lost items in my house as well, so a blog appealed to me more for so many obvious reasons.) I tend to be a perfectionist & a control freak too. So what better way to feed my vices than this?
Well I think this is a pretty good start. For the most part, I plan on writing about whatever randomness pops into my head. Specifically though, I would have to say my experience with open adoption will be my main shpeel. (Talk about your funny/odd words.) Ultimately, I really am hoping that I can give someone else some insight as far as what open adoption entails; the details that no one educated ME about.
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